Now not that I didn’t get adisclaimer about all this, as I entered the 23-25 age group. Being a girl,minus any relationship/boyfriend worth fighting for, is like a challenge in itself I guess. The word better put- Arranged marriage.
Don’t get me wrong- I am not withfancy notions saying that how can a person in this century go for somethinglike arranged marriage- A guy chosen by parents? Sleeping with stranger?No.Arranged marriages are fine too. Some of us are probably meant to meet thatway. And as far as I see, they end up living without killing each other for awhile too. So, its okay. Oh and by the way, the fact is if you could havesearched and found a better person. But most of us are useless when it comes tothat- some of us are bad guy magnets, some guys are all about straightenedhairs and fair faces – You know what I mean. Some of us wouldn’t take the firststep at all. There are all categories of us in this weird world. In our heads,we may have been married like ten years ago, or picturising a life forty yearsfrom now on, but zooming out of all that the fact is today you are single.
By now, a few of would probablygrasping the essence of where I am trying to head. Like my mom for instancedreams of my marriage every single day, the only thing is that when it is timeto see the face of the guy, she ends up waking up. “Just miss, agar paanchminute aur hota toh aaj pata chal jaata kaun who insaan hai”. If you have heardthis dialogue (or any of this similar conversation at home), then my dear thestorm is heading your way too.
It isnt again a storm, more likea shower, if you look good. It all starts there. Now again, the conventionswith arranged marriage havent changed much, have they? If there is one thingthat I really feel like complaining to God (except the manufacturing defects insome people), is that the bad things that people have are shown at the firstinstance one sees them, why is the goodness hidden so deep in? The crookedteeth, geeky glasses, funny walk, scanty hair, pimple face, fat face, darkface, awkward teeth and what not? If you think you look ok, just walk by nearcosmetic section in any shopping mall, in nano seconds they’ll tell everything that’swrong in your face. Right from you know, your nose looks like a nose, tilleverything!! Wonder how their recruitment is done, what do they test! Anyways, Idon’t understand the way the girl’s family looks skeptically at the guy andvice versa. Not like everyone in your family except the one who is going tocome in now, look like Calvin-Klein models? I cant see that anyway
People being at their personalbest on that one day, amazes me. You are human, so am I. I am going to beabsolutely horrible most of the time after a while. I am going to complain, cryand hurt you more than you ever imagined. That’s what love does. Not beingsaddistic, but eventually you are going to rough days. If you are destined to then, you fall in love,fight in the right battle.
There is another perception overhere. For any kind of love, for that matter. You sometimes aren’t in love, evenif you think so. Not let me correct myself, you don’t fall in love with person,you fall in love with the image of this person in your head. We all grew uplearning the wrong Math, 4.52345 doesn’t become 5 after severe rounding up.Zoom in, it still would be 4.52345. No matter how much compare her with theimage in your head and convince it’s the same, the gap would glow eventually. Thatis what I jovially tell my friends as ROR phase- Realisation of Reality :P,followed by ROR again- Reminder of Reality. The people who fall in love withthe image in their head and not the person, are visually challenged. Andmentally too, to be brutally honest. They simply cant sense what the realityis. Like for instance, the girl might have told at the start that she is notgoing to go ahead with it if her parents don’t accept, you listen record anddump it in the back of you head. The part where she said ‘I love you’, echoes24*7 doesn’t it though. Eventually when she moves on, you end up saying shecheated on you. My dear one, even TV AD’s have got a *Disclaimer on the bottom. Read it, or elsesomeday they will own your house. :D Saddest part is this causes catastrophicdamage, post breakup.
You know when first google talkwas introduced; I for once found it very stupid. First you need to know theE-mail id of the person you need to speak to, then you need to send them arequest, then they need to come online, they need to accept it. As if all thisnot enough, both of you need to be online at the same time to speak. To me, thatmeant minimising roadrash, getting an internet connection, sitting and staringat the stupid icon to turn green. Theoretically, I thought the probability of twopeople being online at the same time was very very low. Now I understand why Iam single :P Anyways, looking at my FB chat list today, I am the idiot. I amjust thinking, if the probablity of somechat can be this good so quickly, then probably connecting to your destined oneis probably improving. For a few of us, its at snails pace, but still progressis progress!! :D
All I want to wind up saying isthat all of us have our insecurities, some large, some small, some prettyevident, some ambiguous. I know what mine are, you know what yours is. In yourquest to find love via arranged marriage, don’t end up rejecting people citingtheir insecurities. You are killing someone alive. People wont forget what yousaid and how it made them feel. Never. Such thoughts hover around likenightmares. Say no diligently, agreed that you don’t have to be nice to anyone.But if five minutes or half a day is how long your paths are interwined, thentread either with love or silence. Don’t brew hatred. And to all my dearfriends, you don’t have to change yourself a bit. We all have flaws in and out,that’s what makes us unique. No guy can format your nature keeping looks asconstant, or vice versa.
You don’t fall in love with someones looks, you fallin love with their thoughts, the way their face lights up in happiness or theway they smile as they dance or their brains. Not just looks.
To the dearest ones, who all havetheir big days lined up, even if any guy says no, I will always be around, I promise. Crookedteeth smiles are always good for selfies and fat people are great to hug! :)
Love,
Sti :)
