I didnt publish for long, I had a lot in drafts though. I didnt know if I was heading right. I didnt know where my choices would lead, or may be it was just me who wasnt confident about self. I just couldnt pull out of things. You could say health, finance, what I actually wanted to do, relationships, places, people, perspectives, and one last thing Passion.
I dont know how often people do find this, and how they do. Didnt know how much I was into automotive, until I stepped into it. Was it the daredevil attitude? Was it the glow in my eyes when I saw them rolling down the road? Was it some weird challenge of being a lady mechanical engineer that took shape into the journey of my life? I dont know.
All I know was that way down the lane, there was this girl who liked hot wheels more than barbie dolls. At the age of 4 to 6, she spent her weekends playing around with gears in automotive workshop. (Thanks to you grandpa, I know you arent around, Trust me I miss you as much as I never imagined I would. All I want to tell you is that I admired you. Thank you for showing me where I belonged.) At the age of 16, it was decided- Mechanical engineering.
I dont know, does it happen only in love that you dote on someone, they end up becoming yours? It happened to me with engineering. I cant tell you how happy I am. I really cant, every minute of my life is like the dream I dreamt when I won the concept car challenge. I am touching Jaguar cars. They exist you know, they are like this real long shiny ones. I see parking lots full of chevys, BMW's and Volvos. I can touch them. It's not a dream! I take a stroll down at work, I can hear my heart beats pump up,when I hear those engines vroom around. Can it actually happen so?
I think the best part about my life is that even if I end up working 20 years in this field, I would still have the childish grin whenever I hear the engine roar. Probably thats why they say first love, never dies!
M not even sure what point Im driving home now- But if you have got no one to be passionate about or no passion to work on- I guess I pity you. Life is just not worth living in such a way.
All the struggles would make sense. They make sense now. I had to work for 20 hrs in between Jaguar and Dominoes at a phase of my life. As such one day during a call at Jaguar, I took it up saying 'Thank you for choosing dominos' and I cried hard. Its not the dual kind of role I had ever imagined to play, but it was essential. But I guess it all makes sense now. Every little thing.
So if you are just going through that phase where you are like, am I going to be okay? Trust me, you will be. They say that the only hands that are ever going to help you are at the end of your own arms. I would say the only light that would wade you through all darkness, is that eternity where you live your dream. So simply dream on. Your passion will propel you home. Nothing else is needed. Absolutely nothing.
Nth hour of randomness,