All that you wanted to know

It Is All I Ever Wanted To Say.... :)

The best of whatever had to be bestowed in my life was probably sent in this year. 

Needless to say the best moment this year was undoubtedly this June 14- I finally got my first degree- Bachelors in Engineering-Automobile Engineering- So finally came down to Er.Swathi B.E. Waiting for the day when Er. becomes Dr. again :P Passion to learn is an addiction! Addiction to learning becomes a passion! Okay I am drifting off my topic. But still its an awesome feeling to see your drafted dreams become a reality. It was like I sketch it down, it jumps up to life. Of course, the story has its own ups and downs.

Next, ended up as one among the toppers, a straight answer to those people who questioned about my presence in Automotive stream. Girls can be good ones too. Mechanical Engineering is not a weight lifting competition that only guys can survive. It only needs passion.

Leaving Trichy was one of the nostalgic moments of my life, the place literally witnessed my transition from a school passout to professional. One of the most awesome places in the whole world bestowed with a divine charm of its own. Again of course, places don't become special unless people out there are. My college guys are the best of the whole lot in the world. Missing you guys a lot ra!

March11,2013, Naresh gave me that BMW keychain. Again a perfect moment. Still working on getting in there da, N I promise you and myself that come what may I will someday! Hopefully the sooner, the better. Such a charm know it is to discuss and see the future with friends. Remember our Audi car gifts and holiday plans? Someday, every single one will come true guys :) Gautham, Kna and Mo, that mokka movie cum drive trip was probably one of the last time we guys met before we literally ran to different corners of the world. You guys are still meeting, but I'm waiting to come back and catch up at Coffee Day. Ah! You guys remember the CCD chats when all of us had no idea what we were going to do next? Waiting for results and whenever there was a power cut in our locality, a conference call and we are out on the streets! Ha ha! Those phases can't come again at all! M glad you guys are in contact with me even after coming in here. And to the one who found his lady love, my best wishes! To love and be loved back is one of the best feeling in the world. Guard her with all your life! And to the lady, you are adorable :) Hold him steady in your life! Oh and by the way, The only new year gift I want from you guys- Stop irritating me :P  And be with me forever! Mo thanks for all the late night mokka calls!! :)

Renault-Nissan internship with Ashfaq, bhai- Best times, they were. Somehow reminded me of school days. It was such a fun working with you. Thank you for being there during that phase- You know why it was a ruckus, I am glad you showed me the greater things of life. I never take up your take-it-easy attitude no matter how long I know you, hopefully some day I will be the perfect sis, like my perfect bro. Oh, by the way, Should I spill the beans now? Nah! I'll let you do that, Congratulations and good luck once again for your next endeavor!

Masters in Systems Engineering at Lufbra was again one of the glorious moments of my life. I never really wrote on what happened during that phase, because it was in a state of chaos. I got my visa approved on 29, I left on 31st. Just in two days, the transition from India to UK was over. My passion literally pulled me across half of the world! 

I know that actually out there, there are a lot of people who are super annoyed about the fact that I didn't tell them about my departure to UK. Ah! Without describing this phase, the year literally is incomplete. I had only two days between my visa arrival and departure to UK. One day I spent getting my bank loan and other paper works done. Half of the day I spent in shopping, yes half and actually that was fine for my style of shopping lol. And half in packing. I came off in such a rush that my mom didn't have time to cry. She didn't.

Bro, Dad and Mom- The only three people who came to send me off at airport. Thanks bro, you came inspite of such a bad health. You are the best! Wish I could come back and fight for remote. Or you could team up with that useless friends of mine and pull my leg. I'll be back, sooner than you expect, with your MAN-U stuff :D 

Dad, how do I even put it? Just thank you, You have been my pillar of strength. Thanks mostly, for letting me go on with whatever I wanted to do. For trusting me and having faith, that I never can be wrong.

Mom. Where do I even start? Like okay, I am a coward. You know it. Uthra knows it. I gave up everyday this september that I was going to come to UK. I still remember that conversation Uthra when you told me 'Trust me, I wish I had it, I wouldn't have even given a thought. I would give you.' The words still ring in my ear. I knew very well you would have done anything for me. Cz more than anyone else you and mom knew very well, if I didn't move out then, I was going to be in some strange depression. Mom, Thank you every time I gave up, you not babysat me, but also found solution to every problem. Be it the financial stuff, my accommodation, my visa, my food, my temper tantrums, my mood swings, my tears, my relationship issues, my fears everything. I do make fun of you whenever you say that you miss me. But I do miss you too. Par mein itni senti achi nahi lagti na, toh tum mera part bhi kar lo. :P

Aravind, lots of silly things, but best was when we met at Dominoes and you helped me with UK stuff. We essentially aren't in touch but you know how and when to reach me! It is a pleasure knowing you buddy, Cheers!

To the most useless lazy and super-intelligent friend of mine, Prem, for God's sake, shut down those games some time and talk to people da! Wish you were in your hostel, so that you spoke normally, like what normal people do. :P Anyways Congratulations for MS! USA just got lucky, having yo! ;) :)

One of the amazing persons I met this year was Sree Vidya. I donot actually get along with a lot of girls, but you are super-special. Thanks for all the fun during the 'ride' for movie with Uthra and the 'shopping' tips. I still do not use them anyway :D

My junior Prasanna, Dubai trip on due for 2016 dec re. Before that come down to UK. Missing all those times when we used to drive around the random roads of Chennai.

Nisarg, Ashish and Siddharth.. Me and Divya are indebted to you guys for the favour you guys did, even before knowing us. Thank you! :)
Sasi and Shashank I am flawed a lot, Thank you for still being there. Hope to have loads of good times ahead!
Abhishek, for all the professional help and being my 'friend at work' Thank you!!
Jaina- Sleepovers! I m telling you there is a sleep drug in the air of John Philips, thats why I end up sleeping in the movies that we see. :P
Jaina,Dheeraj and Abrar- You guys are awesome! Can't thank you enough for the day at London! And Abrar the Italian dessert was actually too good!

Oh and the Keralite doll who got married, Preethi. Yours was definetly one awesome wedding!!! Congrats again and my best wishes :)

Okay three people at the end, just like every year.

Divya- Right from providing a shoulder to cry on, a ride back home, a quick hug during the moments of fear, a smiley filled text message, a cute edit of our pictures whenever I'm down, supporting me even when I'm wrong, telling me that you do love me (lol), late night love stories,hanging around in university, last minute shopping plans, randomly clicking pictures around deserted streets, roaming in new cities, providing me with soo many friends in UK, sharing every little secret of yours, celebrating occasions and most of all- Trusting me! The Dubai transit, Visit to Leicester and of course your birthday were our best moments d. Come back soon from India, I do miss you. But please bring all that I asked for, or else I'll send you back. lol

Uthra, Jitna tere baare me likha hai na, utna toh main kabhi engineering me bhi nahi With years the bonding is becoming more beautiful aint it? Your sister's marriage and your tears are still in memory. Tu dikahti nahi har par tu meri mom type senti hi hai lol. Thank you for pushing me into the water, I learnt to swim. It was your confidence that I wouldn't drown that instilled my faith. Please marry someone, so that I can go to Kerala. For I'm pretty sure you won't take me otherwise. lol Agey kya bolun, some of your gifts are ready, I'll bring em sooooon!! Thanks for seeing me at my worst and still thinking that I am the best :)

By now if you aren't annoyed that your name didn't pop up, I am pretty sure I failed. Nevertheless you wouldn't admit. I was saving the last one for you. Our life's have begun to run on parallel roads don't they? Last year this time, you called me up and told me, you wanted to take off. I literally thought you never were going to make it. But then, you did. You surpassed my expectations. Sigh! Expressing gratitude has never been this difficult. Okay, so here it goes. Right from when I met you in Trichy till your transition from MBA plans to taking a job and quitting it in less than a week and finally your MS plans, I never really thought you would be of this help to me! But the minute I decided that Loughborough was my destination, you took care of everything in here. From money transfer to ticket booking to accommodation hunt to places to eat, to online work till banking, you told me what was right and what was wrong. Of course, somethings fall out of place, do not blame yourself for that. And ya, history tells me that not a lot of people can actually handle my depressions and mood swings. As much as I annoyed my mom saying that I never was gonna make it to UK, I annoyed you too. I know, during the transitional phase, I literally spoke about the same issue, every minute and you still patiently listened and said that I was going to make it- Means a lot. Thank you most importantly for taking time off your schedule and tending to my work. Be it back from home or in here. The best gift that anyone can give another person is just time. I know I ate up a lot of your free And anyways I did type most of your reports, so its fair enough I guess :D And again thanks for teaching me how to be happy! That's something I owe you big time, Sathya.
Sometimes appreciating the little things people do is very important in life, and I guess every small issue, plan or problem that you told me, obviously made a lot of difference. So, here's hoping we have an professionally tough yet fun filled year ahead buddy, Cheers!

Lastly, a big Thanks to all those people who have finally decided that they will move out of my life and let others come in. It hurts that people aren't ready to apologize even when you are ready to forgive, nevertheless time which reveals also heals. If people want you in their life, they will make an effort to stay or else let them go away.

2013 does look good on a review note. Inspite of the fact that I couldnt really have a good birthday or that I couldn't celebrate my MS admission or I had many bad days, The ending seems fabulous!
And when the bad days are gone, it's better not to look back and focus ahead I guess!!
Well, what more can I say? Plan your perfect ending at 31.12.13 11:59 pm and a perfect beginning at 1.1.14 12:01 am! May the same happiness spread all through the year. My words are my good wishes for you!

So here's hoping that all of us have good stuff to pen down in the next 365 days!

Once again, A very happy new year

Loads of Love,

"Why is it we always fall for our best friends? Is it because we know we can trust them? Is it because we know them so well? Is it because of the way they know exactly whats going on in our heads? Or is it because they are there any day, anytime, anywhere without the promise of kisses, intimate touches or whispered sentiments of love? I think we love them because they are there when there is nothing in it for them except for that little glimmer of hope that maybe someday there will be."

'Friendzoning' has been making rounds in the internet memes and talks. The concept of liking your friends but not committed as in a relationship- could be probably the best way to put it.

How does it feel? Obviously weird. It isn't bad, because you know they still care for you, they adore you, they cant stand you getting hurt but ultimately become the cause for making you feel dull.
You reminisce the past a lot, because you fear the future would never bring such moments again. You tell them that it could be perfect , real and very true! 'I love you and you know me soo well.. How can you not love me back? ' would probably depict the mindset of yours!

At the other end, it obviously becomes annoying. Friends don't ask for anything in life and any transition in this relationship should be compatible from both ends or else strings cut off bleeding one end at the worse. A clear rejection is always better than a fake promise they say. But it takes a great deal of strength to actually forget one's feelings and speak to the same person normally. The heart that loves only tries to persuade the other one to fall for it. This gets through a strange complicated phase- where one person doesn't understand 'how can one do this after knowing that they have been rejected', and the other person silently suffers- 'no matter what I do, it isn't going to make any difference.'

Love always brings complications. To be rejected by a person who knows you more than anyone else in the whole world is probably the worst feeling. The immediate thought? 'She knows me more than anyone else, she doesn't find me good enough to love. How am I ever going to meet my picture perfect life partner?' A drop in self esteem. Followed by a sudden strong thought- 'I am never going to call her back, let her know my importance.' Most of the times it doesn't work or you end up hurting yourself more badly, after knowing that they are actually fine in your absence!
There are your feelings at stake and no matter who you are you would obviously feel let down. You wish you never loved. You wish you never admitted, you wish you could reverse in time and bring back things the same way.
But, sadly, it never can be the same.

The one who doesn't love, obviously suffers the guilt of hurting their friend. It isn't always easy to snub off care. Knowing your little efforts would make their day, coupled with the fear that what if it gives wrong hope in their heads- you always end up in a dilemma of what to say when. Right from the small good day texts to is your work going good to is your mom fine- you think twice before taking any step. Speaking any word. The care would be missed at the other end too.
The awkward silence at both ends in phone conversations- wondering what to say next with a million thoughts running in head, still unable to put forth, in a deep thought if it would be right to hang up- I am sure all of you would have experienced this at least once with someone! <3 br="">
If you are still reading this, you are ready to admit that you have been through this. All of us have.

Can anyone make out of the friend zone? Maybe yes- it is a pretty bad world, the one we live in yeah! Where money matters, you can't ignore pure emotions. If it is good at both ends, then they end up being these inseparable best friend couples. The ones who know the past, draft their future together. They dream together and live their dreams. Ah! The wordings might sound monotonic but you need to sense that it runs too deep!

What if you don't? You lose a lot for starters, may be your friendship or maybe yourself too. Its easy to get lost in love.

Or maybe you don't lose anything at all. You mask your feelings and be the same way to them. They understand that it is difficult for you, but never admit that too. There is this beautiful relationship with overwhelming care at both ends, that are quite often subconscious. The bonding becomes too strong that the commitment is much beyond love. 
Yet again, on a very last note: Just because they say they love you and they are happy for your relationship, doesn't mean that they are fake. It only means that they adore you more than what you ever thought in all your life!
And most often, you never realize how difficult that can be. Oh! and Also how Precious you are to them!

As I always say,
Love the heart that hurts you, but never
Hurt the heart that loves you :)


Sometimes it lasts in love, sometimes it hurts instead! :')

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That it will never come again is what makes life more and more Interesting… It takes real good time to understand me.. And sometimes, Even people who understand me fail to get whatever I mean… For people who don’t know about me, I’m A fun-loving, friendly, Optimistic, Jovial, Out-going girl… Sometimes shy when the whole crowd is new…. But I get along with people very soon….. I have a lot of friends who consider me an important part of their life… I cheer up people very easily when they are sad…. I like Indian culture.. I Like analyzing characters… Emotions and Science are what I consider awesome Books are My best buddies...... i Read a hell lot of them...... Some of my friends think I can be a good listener… I can listen patiently… But even I can talk a lot… Its hard to get under my skin.. I always find out what people are upto very easily... I don intend to But it doesnot get out of my view I’m not very caring, Very friendly and all but I’m very naughty… My mood swings a lot… And finally, what matters is What U Know About Me And Not What U Read Over Here :)


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