Why does it have to
be this way? To feel so low about yourself, when out there there at people
envying to step in your shoes. To the
exterior way the glam and glitter of all the laurels and accolades to shine
bright, so much that people turn their faces away in the glitz of it, what
embraces at the end of the day is deep felt loneliness. Scare. To fail, it
never changes does it? New things you do new places you go, try to rise up like
you have never fallen, move about that there is no obstacle. Pray that eventually
things will come into place. It never does.
The minutes of
insecurities are too much. For when you stop and look back, you don’t see how
much you have got. You only see how much is lost.You do move ahead, in paces
more than what average do, probably paces that none ever had moved or will
move, but it doesn’t help out. You cant get over it. Professional success cant
guarantee you happiness. You can’t hug your certificate. All man longs for
care. All I miss is care.
I so wish people
never expected anything on me. I would give upon every dream right now, to see
who would actually be there when I am nothing. But unfortunately that isn’t
necessary, because there is nothing already in my life. You only have to check
upon people when you doubt on them. I have no doubts people have all left, I
have nothing left. For the goodness of mankind, I am alone.
Even all those who
were never ever good to me, I prayed their better half’s should be miraculously
good. I wonder where I did go wrong. In being passionate? In thinking that I have to give the best shot in whatever I did? Being passionate at times is a great crime in itself. You don't realize the fine line between calling it your passion and obsession. I would even work for free just for the joy of it. You would call me foolish. But I don care. Neither did I before.
To me these are just empty sounds. My insecurities were and are still the same. To be deserted at the heights of professional success. I long for care.
Regards,
Me
I am only me, that is all I can ever be.
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